How Do They Survive?

Ok, it's time for a quiz.  Which of the following items has Alimatu successfully eaten?

 Candles

 Decorative Fruit

 Melted Wax in an Air Freshener

 Crayons

 An Avocado - From the Outside In

 And the answer is....All of the above.  Yes, she has eaten each and every one of these items.  I have also found a Cup O' Noodles cup with a bite taken out of the styrofoam cup.

Thinking of this has resurfaced the age old question in my mind:  Why do kids do the things they do?  What made Lunch Meat stuff the popcorn kernal up his nose?  Then why, having not learned his lesson, did he cram an air soft bb into his inner ear? 

What exactly goes through a child's mind when he takes a popcorn kernal, looks at it intently, and thinks to himself, "I wonder what would happen if I stuffed this as far into my nose as possible?"  What good could possibly come from such an act?  Never before in my life have I been at work, paused, and thought to myself, "Into which orifice of my body would this paperclip be most appropriately placed?"

In case you were wondering, it doesn't do any good to try to go in after the wedged kernal.  The best way to remove it is to plug the other nostril and tell the child to blow as hard as he can.  Safety glasses are a must, as the kernal will shoot out of the nose at a dangerous rate of speed.  In the case of the air soft bb lodged in the inner ear....it's best to consult one's pediatrician then proceed to the nearest ear nose and throat specialist.  

Having never committed such an egregious act, I am left to ponder why they happen.  I know there are some of you who have, so please enlighten me on what exactly you were thinking when you did. Then again, I shouldn't be too critical.  I did, after all, take the 50 piece chicken mcnugget challenge.