Song and Dance

Our kids range in age from 12 to 1.  Sometimes I worry that by having siblings so much older than they, the younger kids will learn things too quickly and have a tendency to be too big for their britches.  For example, when Wally was 7 years old he started playing superleague baseball.  At the very first meeting, one of the coaches mentioned they’ll run the team like soccer players.  One of the kids, who has significantly older siblings, responded, “Soccer is for homos.”  I could tell by the blank expressions that no one else knew what a “homo” was.

When Alimatu got here, she arrived as a 3 year old with basically a blank slate.  The other two girls immediately broke out their watercolors and began to create their own work of art on her slate, some good, some not so good.  Last night she was standing on the countertop, shaking her hips in an assortment of dance moves her sisters taught her.  I decided to join in the fun by singing a song she could dance to.  She seems to have a bit of a bladder control issue, so I added my own words to make Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream” a little more appropriate.  She just smiled and danced through the entire song, completely oblivious to the fact that I was teasing her.

Let's go all the way tonight

I will wet my pants tonight
No regrets, just love

No diaper?  No prob
We can dance until we die

I will soak my underwear
You and I

I will pee
We'll be young forever

In my pants forever

You make me

I will pee
Feel like I'm living a

Into my underwear

Teenage Dream

Forever
The way you turn me on

Until the end of time
I can't sleep

I can soak
Let's runaway

Straight through my jeans
And don't ever look back

In every single pair
Don't ever look back

Every single pair

My heart stops

I can’t stop
When you look at me

When I feel that pee
Just one touch

I don’t try
Now baby I believe

No you can’t make me
This is real

I won’t learn
So take a chance

So just don’t try
And don't ever look back

I will forever pee
Don't ever look back

In my underwear

I know neither the real song nor my version is appropriate, but I choose to blame my parents for letting me listen to Weird Al as a kid.  Who could forget some of the other classics I came up with as a kid?

Scooby Scooby Do, where are you?  We need some help from you now.

Scooby Scooby Do, where did you poo?  Right behind the curtains.

Strawberry Shortcake with her freckled nose, Raspberry Tart with her cute little fart.

And my favorite from Kenny Rogers:

Lady, I’m your knight in shining armor, and I love you.

Lady, you are dumb and you are stupid, and I hate you.

Yes, I am still working out my “girls have cooties” issues.